


From the Middle to the Top to the End

by Viwiel



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: Crossover, Family, Gen, Non-Linear Narrative, Prompt Fic, Team Dynamics, What-If, bottom of the drawer type
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-02-23 01:13:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23670025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viwiel/pseuds/Viwiel
Summary: “I wonder when you’re going to tell me what you really do for living,” Barney gave his niece an assessing look.“Pretty sure all gallery owners don’t have the scars you’ve got.”“Likewise,” Buffy tossed back. “Although, I got a pretty good idea about what you do.”“You do?”“Uh huh.”(Or the one where Barney Ross was Joyce's estranged brother.)
Relationships: Buffy Summers & Barney Ross
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> One of those things that you have lying around somewhere and occasionally write a sentence or two in. Figured I might as well post some of it while I was at it. These are all answers to a set of word prompts and won't be in a linear order at all.

  1. **Procurator  
** _a person, as a deputy, attorney, or agent, employed to manage the affairs of another._



Buffy had met her mother’s brother for the first time in years at the reading of her mother’s will. She knew there had been some kind of argument between her mother and Hank (he’d been long since lost his title as ‘dad’ and been reduced to first name basis) and her uncle Barney back when they had lived in L.A..

She only knew it’d had something to do with Barney’s job being dangerous, and she’d only got that much because of some well-timed eavesdropping. She had the impression that it had been initiated by Hank, but she supposed it’d had some truth to it since her mother had not reconnected with her brother even after the divorce. Those few times she’d asked about her uncle she’d been told he was busy and the underlying tone had discouraged her from asking after him anymore.

The reading of the will had been a short affair with only her and her uncle present for it in addition to the attorney. Barney had had to leave soon after it had been read, but had left his number and told to contact if she ever needed anything. It took long before she got around to doing that. Soon after his visit she had ended up sacrificing herself for Dawn. After she got back things had gotten busy. When she finally got around to contacting her uncle Sunnydale had been turned into a sinkhole and she’d needed some place to crash.

_“Hey, it’s Buffy, uh, Joyce’s daughter. You gave me your number a while back…”_


	2. Chapter 2

  1. ****Enigma  
**** _A person or thing that is mysterious or difficult to understand._ _  
_



“I wonder when you’re going to tell me what you really do for living,” Barney gave his niece an assessing look. “Pretty sure all gallery owners don’t have the scars you’ve got.”

“Likewise,” Buffy tossed back. “Although, I got a pretty good idea about what you do.”

“You do?”

“Uh huh,” Buffy made a show of inspecting her nails.

“Well, fire away,” Barney told her, clearly amused and expecting her to guess something far from the truth.

“Alright. Let’s see, I know you’ve got a past in the armed forces, no any prior information needed, it’s all in your mannerisms. And I know that whatever that is that you do pays relatively well. That takes out being currently in service, at least as a mere grunt. Adding to that having met Gunner and Christmas, neither of whom are the warm cuddly type, and the guys that you keep mentioning? I’d say you guys are the kind of team that does dangerous things that others won’t agree to do or have qualms about. If I had to guess? I’d say either black ops – or more likely? Mercenaries,” Buffy concluded, she’d thought about it after meeting her uncle’s “friends”. Yes, they were friends, but they were also deferential to Barney and she’d recognized it from being around her ex’s and his friends/subordinates. “How did I do?” She was full out smirking at her uncle highly entertained by his surprise, knowing she’d gotten it right or at the very least, she’d gotten a lot closer to the truth than he’d assumed she would.

Barney was somewhat impressed by how accurate his niece’s guess was. They hadn’t talked about his past, but he supposed Joyce or Hank had mentioned it to her. Buffy had met Gunner and Christmas on a few occasions, but apparently those times and the mentions here and there had been enough. His monetary situation was never discussed, but there were a few things that could indicate moderately good income, like his beloved ’55 Ford F-100 truck that he maintained well enough that it was looking like new, and the Ross & Co Aviation firm.

“Pretty good,” he admitted to her. “Like said, I know you’re hiding something – no worries, I won’t push, you’ll tell me when you’re ready and maybe I’ll tell you everything about what I do in exchange.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Buffy told him. She had thought about telling him everything, but she wasn’t quite ready for it yet. People looked her differently after she told them, and she wanted to be Buffy the niece for a little bit longer.


	3. Chapter 3

  1. ****Common mallow/ _Malva sylvestris  
_**** _Mallow is emollient, helps the regeneration of tissues, is healing, calms irritations and promotes the elimination of toxins._ ** ** _  
_**** **** _  
  
_



They had been stuck trekking on foot in an undisclosed location in Eastern Europe for a week now and the dry summer heat and the omnipresent dust were getting to them. That, and the insects. Honestly? It was mostly the assortment of insects.

“Stop whining!” Toll Road’s complaining behind him finally got a reaction out of Caesar. “Like mosquito bites are the worst thing about all of this…” he muttered darkly, whacking his hat against his leg in an attempt to get rid of some of the dust, the fat load of good that did him.

Toll Road swiped aside a branch angrily only to release it straight at Yang’s face. “Says the one who’s gotten bit maybe a grand total of three times,” he ignored Yang cursing him. “Can’t you see the swarm around me?” he gestured around him with erratic waving.

“Oh boohoo, deal with it,” Caesar was less than sympathetic to his plight.

Gunner bent over to pick something from the ground – something that turned to be small flower with small, light purple flowers and glossy dark leaves. He thrust the flowers into Toll Road’s chest wordlessly. The man brought up his hand instinctively to catch them. He looked up at Gunner with a raised eyebrow, “Sorry big guy, but I don’t swing that way.”

“You’re funny,” Gunner looked down at Toll with an expression that suggested otherwise. “You rub the leaves on the bites, takes away the itch.”

“I didn’t know you were a botanist as well,” Toll Road’s brow rose again almost against his wish and he was not the only one.

“I got layers,” Gunner deadpanned as he marched past the rest of them. The team wasn’t quite sure if he was joking or not. Somehow, moments like that kept happening around Gunner Jensen.


	4. Gossip

  1. **Gossip  
** _informal conversation, often about other people's private affairs._



Barney was at the bar getting a fresh one when Christmas joined the rest of them at the Old Point.

“You’re seriously letting that go on?” Christmas asked Barney without any kind of greeting, looking at where Buffy and Thorn were flirting by the stage. They had been at it for some time already.

“Why wouldn’t I?” there was real confusion in Barney’s expression. Christmas didn’t need to know it, but it was mostly because Barney couldn’t resist yanking his chain. The other part was it wasn’t the first time his niece was flirting with some guy and he didn’t see the difference to those other occasions when Christmas hadn’t uttered a word. She was young, let her have her fun.

“You’re not concerned about her getting involved with an ex-con mercenary?” Christmas asked him cynically.

So, that was where the wind was blowing then, Barney though. “Nah, it’s up to her,” he shook his head, “besides, it’s not like it will be going anywhere between those two anyway.”

“How’d you figure?” they watched as Buffy leaned to trace a scar along Thorn’s clavicle prompting the man to touch it as well, wearing the signature smirk of his, making their hands touch. The noise of the bar prevented them from hearing what the man was saying but whatever it was it made Buffy throw her head back laughing with a delighted expression. Some words and a challenging head tilt later Buffy was lifting the hem of her red top to show Thorn something, assumedly one of her own scars.

“They’re kids compared to her,” Barney gestured to the younger half of the crew. “And before you open your trap to tell me they’re the same age,” Christmas had been about to do just that but he wasn’t about to admit that to Barney, it would just lend credence to the older man’s arguments about knowing Christmas better than he did knew himself, “it’s not about the physical age, it’s ‘bout the mental, and she’s decades older than any of them,” Barney explained gesturing with the beer bottle still at hand. “She would chew Thorn up and spit him out worse to wear.”

Christmas made a noise that could be called grudging agreement. It was true that the woman had plenty of life experience under her belt and if you caught her during a rare unguarded moment her eyes would reflect that.

Barney got a playful look on his face as he took a draw from his bottle, “And for the record, if I were to be concerned, it’d be more about her and Smilee. He’s more her type,” Barney topped the offhanded remark with a smirk and took his drink and went to join the guys and Luna in their table leaving Christmas alone with his thoughts wondering what her type was if Smilee fit it. When Barney glanced back, Christmas was switching from looking at Buffy and Thorn laughing to staring at John Smilee who was smiling faintly at those two from the sidelines as he cleaned his weapon at the table he had all to himself.


End file.
